Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
