he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize