No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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