Swine flu. Run for my life!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
