No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Randomize
