do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
