great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
