Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
