I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
