I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
