This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
