Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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