I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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