I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
