I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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