Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
