Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
