That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Come on in and take your pants off
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
