Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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