Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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