she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
