i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
