Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
