she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
