i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so let's talk penis.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Randomize
