I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I can tuck mytits in my pants
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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