Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize