Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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