you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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