I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
