you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I am mentally ready for anal.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
