my room smells like sperm. sweet.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He uses pillows to masturbate.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
