dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
