I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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