So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
