oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize