i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
