...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
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