Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
