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• (801): View more from Utah

  Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...

  (435): View more from Utah

  A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!

  (616): View more from Michigan

  you srsly need to quit going to that bar

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.

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• (516): View more from New York

  I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA

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• (518): View more from New York

  I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"

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• (858): View more from California

  He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone

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• (917): View more from New York City

  currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"

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• (914): View more from New York

  Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up

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