No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
why is half of my head shaved?
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