ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
