quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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