what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
whose ass print is on the piano?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize