She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
