i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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