she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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