We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
