I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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