Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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