we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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