it hurts more in the daytime
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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