It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
