Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
