Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
