sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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