I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
