Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize