guys are not supposed to queef...right?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
